M.A.R.R.I.A.G.E.: I--"Integrity that Protects the Covenant"

Introduction

We have walked through the “M,” “A,” and “R” of our M.A.R.R.I.A.G.E. acrostic — Marriage as God designed it, Agape Love, and Repentance & Reconciliation. Each of these truths lays a foundation for redeemed relationships in a fallen world.

Today we come to the letter I — Integrity.

If agape is the heart of a redeemed relationship, and repentance & reconciliation are the lungs, then integrity is the skeleton. It holds everything together. It gives structure, stability, and strength to the covenant.

Integrity is not perfection. Integrity is consistency. Integrity is wholeness. Integrity is living the same person in private that you claim to be in public.

And Scripture is clear: integrity protects the covenant — whether you are single or married.

Let’s go to the Word.

I. INTEGRITY IS WALKING SECURELY BEFORE GOD

Proverbs 10:9 ESV

9 Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out

“Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.”

Integrity is not about image — it is about alignment.

A. Integrity Is Wholeness

The Hebrew idea behind “integrity” is tamim — whole, complete, undivided.

A person of integrity is not:

one person at church

another person at home

another person online

another person in private

Integrity means your life is one piece.

B. Integrity Brings Security

“Walks securely.”

Integrity protects:

your conscience

your relationships

your reputation

your covenant

There is no fear of being exposed when there is nothing to hide.

C. Crookedness Brings Exposure

“But he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.”

Sin always surfaces. Secrets always leak. Hidden patterns always come to light.

Integrity is protection; deception is destruction.

II. INTEGRITY IS SPEAKING TRUTH AND REJECTING FALSEHOOD

Ephesians 4:25 ESV

25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor.”

Paul is writing to believers — redeemed people — and he still says, “Put away falsehood.”

A. Integrity Speaks Truth

Truth in:

words

tone

motives

promises

Integrity means your “yes” means yes and your “no” means no.

B. Integrity Rejects Deception

Falsehood destroys trust. Trust is the currency of every relationship. Once trust is broken, everything becomes fragile.

C. Integrity Builds Unity

“For we are members of one another.”

Truth strengthens the body. Truth strengthens marriages. Truth strengthens friendships.

III. INTEGRITY IS CONTROLLING EMOTIONS AND COMMUNICATION

Ephesians 4:26–31 ESV

26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Paul gives practical instructions for relational integrity.

A. Integrity Manages Anger (vv. 26–27)

“Be angry and do not sin.”

Anger is not the sin — uncontrolled anger is.

Integrity means:

no silent treatment

no explosive reactions

no bitterness stored

no grudges held

Anger must be dealt with quickly or “the devil gets a foothold.”

B. Integrity Guards the Tongue (v. 29)

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths.”

Corrupting talk includes:

insults

sarcasm meant to wound

passive‑aggressive comments

profanity

belittling

gossip

Integrity speaks words that “give grace to those who hear.”

C. Integrity Rejects Bitterness (vv. 30–31)

Bitterness is slow poison. It corrodes the heart. It destroys marriages. It divides churches.

Integrity chooses forgiveness over festering.

IV. INTEGRITY IS HONORING THE MARRIAGE COVENANT

Hebrews 13:4 ESV

4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled.”

Integrity protects the covenant by honoring God’s design.

A. Integrity Honors Marriage Publicly

Marriage is not a joke. It is not disposable. It is not optional.

It is honorable.

B. Integrity Honors Marriage Privately

“Undefiled” means:

purity in thought

purity in behavior

purity in boundaries

purity in digital life

Integrity protects the covenant from compromise.

C. Integrity Honors Marriage Spiritually

Marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church. Integrity reflects Christ’s faithfulness.

V. INTEGRITY IS LIVING A LIFE GOD CAN APPROVE

Psalm 15 ESV

A Psalm of David. 1 O Lord, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? 2 He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart; 3 who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend; 4 in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but who honors those who fear the Lord; who swears to his own hurt and does not change; 5 who does not put out his money at interest and does not take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things shall never be moved.

David asks:

“Lord, who may dwell in Your sanctuary?”

God answers with a portrait of integrity:

speaks truth

keeps promises even when it hurts

refuses slander

rejects corruption

honors righteousness

Integrity is not about perfection — it is about direction.

VI. INTEGRITY IN A FALLEN WORLD

A. For Singles

Integrity prepares you for covenant faithfulness. It protects your witness. It shapes your future marriage.

B. For Married Couples

Integrity builds trust. Trust builds intimacy. Intimacy builds unity.

Integrity is the guardrail of the covenant.

C. For the Church

A church without integrity loses credibility. A church with integrity shines like Christ.

VII. PRINCIPLE REFLECTIONS FOR THE CONGREGATION

1. Integrity is not perfection — it is consistency.

God is not asking you to be flawless, but to be faithful.

2. Integrity is who you are when no one is watching.

Private purity protects public witness.

3. Integrity is the foundation of trust.

Without trust, relationships collapse.

4. Integrity is choosing truth over convenience.

Honesty may cost you something, but dishonesty will cost you everything.

5. Integrity is the daily practice of holiness.

Small choices shape big character.

6. Integrity protects the covenant.

It guards marriages, strengthens friendships, and stabilizes the church.

7. Integrity is empowered by the Holy Spirit.

You cannot produce integrity by willpower — it is the fruit of a surrendered life.